Who EMDR is NOT For - When This Therapy Might Not Be the Best Fit
EMDR is a powerful therapy, but it’s not right for everyone. Learn when EMDR therapy might not be a good fit, why that matters, and how to know when you're ready.
What Is EMDR—and Why Doesn’t It Work for Everyone?
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a highly effective trauma therapy. It helps people reprocess painful memories so they no longer hijack your nervous system and cause distress. For many, it’s life-changing.
But EMDR isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution—and it’s not always the right fit for every person or every stage of healing.
Knowing when to pause, prepare, or choose a different approach is just as important as knowing when to dive in. This post breaks down when EMDR might not be the best choice—yet—and what you can do if you’re in that place.
When EMDR Might Not Be the Right Fit
1. You’re Using Substances to Cope
If you’re over-relying on alcohol, cannabis, or other substances to regulate your emotions, EMDR may not be safe. Trauma processing can stir up intense feelings, and if substances are your main coping tool, those emotions can become unmanageable and your substance use can quickly spiral out of control. You don’t have to be completely sober for EMDR to work but you do want to have a full toolbox of coping strategies.
What to do instead: Focus on stabilization. Build a support network, learn alternative coping strategies, or work with a therapist on harm reduction. EMDR can wait until your nervous system is more resourced.
2. You Frequently Dissociate
Dissociation—spacing out, losing time, or feeling disconnected from reality—can make EMDR risky. The therapy requires you to stay grounded while accessing distressing material. Doing EMDR without address the frequent dissociation can cause you be retraumatized and your symptoms to get worse instead of better.
What to do instead: Try grounding techniques, parts work, or somatic therapy to build tolerance and safety before starting EMDR.
3. You’re in an Unsafe Situation
If you’re dealing with ongoing abuse, housing instability, or unsafe relationships, EMDR may not be appropriate. Trauma healing requires at least some level of present-day safety.
What to do instead: Focus on crisis support, resource-building, and getting safe. EMDR can follow once basic needs and safety are in place.
4. You Struggle with Emotional Overwhelm
If you have trouble managing distress or don’t yet have ways to soothe yourself, EMDR can be retraumatizing. Your brain needs to know how to come out of the distress before you dive into it.
What to do instead: Work with your therapist on emotional regulation tools. Learn skills to ground, contain, and release emotion before reprocessing.
5. You’re Not Sure What You Want to Work On
EMDR is most effective when there’s a clear target: a memory, belief, or symptom to focus on. If therapy feels foggy, or you don’t feel ready to explore trauma, that’s okay.
What to do instead: Use talk therapy or supportive modalities to build insight and clarity. EMDR works better with a solid foundation.
Common Misconceptions About EMDR
Let’s clear a few things up:
❌ EMDR is not hypnosis or mind control.
❌ It won’t erase your memories—it helps your brain process them differently.
❌ You don’t have to relive trauma in graphic detail for EMDR to work.
✅ You always have the right to stop, pause, or redirect therapy.
Not Ready? Here’s What to Do Instead
If EMDR doesn’t feel right yet, you are not broken. It just means your system needs something else first—and honoring that is a sign of strength. In fact, very few people come into therapy ready to dive in to EMDR without needing preparatory work first.
Therapeutic alternatives to try:
Grounding and containment work
Somatic therapy
Parts work (e.g., IFS)
DBT skills for emotional regulation
Psychoeducation on trauma and the nervous system
A good trauma therapist will never rush you into something you’re not ready for. They’ll walk with you at your pace.
You Get to Choose What Healing Looks Like
EMDR is a tool. A powerful one—but still just a tool.
If you’re not sure whether it’s the right one for you right now, that’s okay. What matters most is finding an approach that makes you feel safer, stronger, and more in control—whatever that looks like.
At the Center for Establishing Recovery, we work collaboratively to help you choose the best path forward. If EMDR is part of that path, we’ll get there together. And if it’s not? That’s valid too. If you’d like to work with us, fill out this form to get started on your healing journey today!
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How EMDR is Used in Early Trauma Processing (coming soon)