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Holiday depression and anxiety encompasses the increase in symptoms many people feel during the holidays. These symptoms can be triggered for various reasons from social anxiety, the loss of a loved one, disappointment in the holidays, or the stress and pressure of holidays events and gift giving traditions.
Our culture depicts a very romanticized holiday experience that includes enjoying family, getting great gifts, and enjoying yourself. However, this isn’t everyone’s experience. Some people are isolated and only feel more lonely at the holidays. Some people have bad memories associated with them. Whatever the reason, it’s more normal than we recognize to struggle during this time of year.
The truth is any stress, even good stress, can exacerbate your existing patterns and symptoms. This is also very normal. So, if you’re prone to being depressed, when you get under stress, you’ll probably feel more of that. If you’re prone to being anxious, the same thing will happen. Whatever you tend to do, it’s important to know yourself so that you can plan ahead and give yourself the extra love and support that you need.
Some people (especially those of us in the northern part of the world) are also beginning to experience seasonal affective issues during the holidays. As the days get shorter and the weather gets colder, we aren’t getting what we need from the sun and this can lead to an increase in depression or anxiety. Stress and our symptoms can also have a snowball effect, compounding each other until we are able to intervene.
So what can you do if you’re the one experiencing an increase in depression and anxiety this holiday season? Here’s a few tips:
1. Engage in A LOT of self-care.
When you’re struggling with mental health symptoms it’s important to engage in what we call radical self-care or the idea that you have to care for yourself first before you can care for anyone else. This is especially true when we’re dealing with stress and mental health symptoms.
2. Get support.
Reach out the loved ones if you have them and they’re able to be supportive. Reach out to online groups or a therapist if you’re able. Dealing with this kind of stuff alone only makes it harder to get better.
(If your symptoms are making it hard to function or your having thoughts of death/suicide, then I strongly recommend professional support. If you need crisis intervention, you can start here)
3. Opposite Action Skill.
This is a DBT skill I teach to my clients and it basically means doing the opposite of what you feel like doing if you know it’s good for you. This is an especially important skill to use when recovering from depression. You won’t feel like doing the things you need to get better so we practice doing them anyway.
4. Get outside (even if it’s cold.).
This is my personal depression hack that I use all year long. I walk my dog almost every day and was shocked to discover how much that simple practice has reduced my seasonal depression and how much it helps me to manage my anxiety and stress.
5. Manage your expectations.
Nothing is perfect, even the holidays. Expecting and accepting some stress, or conflict, or difficulty will go along way with helping us to focus on coping in healthy way.
Is there someone else in your life that you suspect might be struggling this holiday season? Here’s some things you can do to help support them.
1. Reach out.
Sending someone a message or calling them to let them know you’re thinking about them can really help someone who’s struggling.
2. Don’t jump to fixing their problem just provide a space for them to talk and feel validated.
It’s a natural instinct to want to fix or help someone that we care about who is in pain but this can often shut someone down. People usually need some time to process what’s going on and providing them the space to do that is a true gift.
3. Ask them what they need to feel supported.
Most people tend to give others what they would want in that situation but this can go wrong. I suggest asking them what they need from you and checking in with them about it.
4. Just be there.
The best gift you can give someone who is struggling is to be there. We can’t fix other people’s problems or make them go away but we can show them that they’ll have someone to go through it with.
Holiday depression and anxiety is a normal experience that affects many people throughout the world. In fact, therapists often talk about how we see such an uptick in new clients around the holidays due to stress. Knowing yourself and making a plan can go a long way to helping you manage things in a healthy way.
If you or someone you know, wants professional support this holiday season you can learn more about depression here or fill out our new client inquiry to start counseling. If we can’t see you, we will work with you to find someone who can. You can also contact us with any questions or resources.